DAY 2 CORRECTED LETTER 2

19 July,2011

The MS Physiotherapy centre

588 Hay Street

Subiaco

Dear Sir/Madam,

Re:Mr Stephen Mabel,DOB:18June,1972

I am writing on behalf of Mrs Sandra wife of,Mr Mabel,who is recuperating from the knee injury.He requires daily home visits for improving his ambulation.

First sentence is confusing
No need to write that you are writing on behalf of his wife
He needs only one home visit

Mr Mabel presented on 12 June with a serious injury on the left knee following a fall from the descending stairs. Consequently, general practitioner referred him to our care for performing dressing to the affected area and help with activities of daily living .

You have to write the complete date

On subsequent visits,Mr Mabel attained a satisfactory recovery without any sign of infection.He is able to walk with the help of assistance; ,however,he has minimal pain.

Good

Based on the past medical history,Mr Mabel has had cerebrovascular accident in 2010.He also has slight slurred speech, impaired balance and uses walking aid for mobility.In context to social history,he is an accountant and resides with wife.

Under the above circumstance,it would be greatly appreciated if you could continue home visits for few more days to regain his strength.

For any information regarding Mr Mabel, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours faithfully,

JOHANNA ANDREW (no need to write the whole name in capital letter)

Senior Nurse

Your Health Care Agency

Comments

CORRECTED LETTER-BELINDA HOYLE

RED Irrelevant GREEN correction PINK suggestion Mr Steven Hummings Community Nurse Community Health Centre 18 Gannon parade Newtown 24 January, 2015 Dear Mr Hummings, Re: Ms Belinda Hoyle, 37 - year- old Better to write age as 37 years If you want to write like this, better to write when you have some other information also to add like a 37-year- old widow. I am writing to introduce Ms Hoyle , no comma who is recovering from type one fracture above the left elbow. She requires assistance for lifestyle and child care. Ms Hoyle is being recovered from type one fracture above the left elbow following an accident. She requires rehabilitative care and lifestyle assistance from you service In your introduction purpose is not clear Ms Hoyle was admitted to our hospital on 21 January, 2015 with the above-mentioned diagnoses. fractured arm with little displacement of humerus following a scooter accident . On arrival, she was noticed...

CORRECTED LETTER

Dr Jan walker Epstein Clinic 393 Victoria Road Richmond , Melbourne 2/9/17 Dear Dr Walker, Re: Susan Forest, D.O.B 19/05/97 I am writing to refer Ms. Forrest, a 24-year-old female, whose clinical features are suggestive of asthma, for further assessment and management. Repeated information about age. Ms. Forest is unmarried and works as a graphic designer, was diagnosed with asthma at the age of 4¹, Adding to this, In 2015 she was admitted to hospital because of two asthmatic attacks and hence, commenced on Ventolin, Symbicort and Zyrtec. She also had a history of eczema, anxiety disorder and allergic rhinitis. She had a strong family history of asthma. Please note she is a chronic smoker and a social drinker. Social information medical information all mixed together. Initially, on 12/3/17, Ms. Forrest presented with a complaint of diarrhea which was improved after the encouragement of electrolytes. Subsequently, Ms forest reported complaints of...

OET4U

Search This Blog