RED Irrelevant
GREEN correction
PINK suggestion
Mr Steven Hummings
Community Nurse
Community Health Centre
18 Gannon parade Newtown
24 January, 2015
Dear Mr Hummings,
Re: Ms Belinda Hoyle, 37 - year- old
Better to write age as 37 years
If you want to write like this, better to write when you have some other information also to add like a 37-year- old widow.
I am writing to introduce Ms Hoyle, no comma who is recovering from type one fracture above the left elbow. She requires assistance for lifestyle and child care.
Ms Hoyle is being recovered from type one fracture above the left elbow following an accident. She requires rehabilitative care and lifestyle assistance from you service
In your introduction purpose is not clear
Ms Hoyle was admitted to our hospital on 21 January, 2015 with the above-mentioned diagnoses. fractured arm with little displacement of humerus following a scooter accident. On arrival, she was noticed with disoriented disorientation, dizziness and nauseated along with stiffness and pain.
During hospitalisation, her fractured arm has been immobilised with a splint for four weeks. Ms Hoyle was Mobilised with a pick-up frame. She was provided assistance with activities of daily living. Currently, she is independent; however, she has pain in her abdomen and chest. Hence, she is recommended to take paracetamol if necessary along with rest which are to be continued.
Ms Hoyle lives with her husband and daughter, Helen, who is experiencing a hearing problem., and has been required requiring speech pathology review weekly with her . Thus, she requires speech therapy on a weekly basis for which kindly provide assistance from your service. Since she has no support from her husband for child care and household works along with marital issues, she needs assistance for child care and possible counselling for marital issues along with possible depression. She is not getting any help from her husband such as housekeeping and child care. In addition, she has no rest and martial issues therefore lost her weight. She seems to be depressed. Thus, arrange counselling section for her.
Kindly provide help for her daughter with speech pathology. Please note that she has been scheduled for her follow- up visit after four weeks from an accident the date of incident. Please note, she requires adequate rest and paracetamol , if necessary.
Please feel free to contact me if you have any queries.
Yours sincerely,
Charge Nurse
Average presentation
Need more concentration on organisation
Good luck!!!!