LETTER 4 WRITING EXAM

1. WRITE CORRECT ADDRESS

2 PUT A CONMA

3.IT IS A REFER BACK

4. FOR IS BETTER THAN OF

5.USING THE SAME DATE FORMAT IS BETTER

6 PUT A COMMA AFTER THESE WORDS.

7 COMMA

8 OF NOTE IS OKAY BUT BETTER TO AVOID

INTRODUCTION IS GOOD EXCEPT MINOR MISTAKES.

The SECOND PARAGRAPH CONTAINS TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

THEREFORE LACKS CLARITY.

WRITE DETAILED POSTOPERATIVE CARE.

IRRELEVANT INFORMATION IN PARAGRAPH 3

CURRENT DRESSING SHOULD BE MENTIONED EARLIER AS YOU ARE WRITING THE LAST PARAGRAPH AS WHAT THE READER HAS TO DO FOR THE PATIENT.

NO NEED OF MAY REMIND YOU

WRITE A SEPERATE LINE ABOUT

IF ANY QUERIES PLEASE CONTACT.

Comments

CORRECTED LETTER-BELINDA HOYLE

RED Irrelevant GREEN correction PINK suggestion Mr Steven Hummings Community Nurse Community Health Centre 18 Gannon parade Newtown 24 January, 2015 Dear Mr Hummings, Re: Ms Belinda Hoyle, 37 - year- old Better to write age as 37 years If you want to write like this, better to write when you have some other information also to add like a 37-year- old widow. I am writing to introduce Ms Hoyle , no comma who is recovering from type one fracture above the left elbow. She requires assistance for lifestyle and child care. Ms Hoyle is being recovered from type one fracture above the left elbow following an accident. She requires rehabilitative care and lifestyle assistance from you service In your introduction purpose is not clear Ms Hoyle was admitted to our hospital on 21 January, 2015 with the above-mentioned diagnoses. fractured arm with little displacement of humerus following a scooter accident . On arrival, she was noticed...

CORRECTED LETTER

Dr Jan walker Epstein Clinic 393 Victoria Road Richmond , Melbourne 2/9/17 Dear Dr Walker, Re: Susan Forest, D.O.B 19/05/97 I am writing to refer Ms. Forrest, a 24-year-old female, whose clinical features are suggestive of asthma, for further assessment and management. Repeated information about age. Ms. Forest is unmarried and works as a graphic designer, was diagnosed with asthma at the age of 4¹, Adding to this, In 2015 she was admitted to hospital because of two asthmatic attacks and hence, commenced on Ventolin, Symbicort and Zyrtec. She also had a history of eczema, anxiety disorder and allergic rhinitis. She had a strong family history of asthma. Please note she is a chronic smoker and a social drinker. Social information medical information all mixed together. Initially, on 12/3/17, Ms. Forrest presented with a complaint of diarrhea which was improved after the encouragement of electrolytes. Subsequently, Ms forest reported complaints of...

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