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LETTER 43

 Letter 43

3 /08/2020


19 March,2008


The Director,

Aged Care Assessment Team

Brisbane South Region

78 Masterson St. Acacia Ridge

Brisbane 4110


Dear Sir/Madam,

Re:Mr Henry O'Keefe              DOB:2[space]February, 1925


Mr Henry O'Keefe is recovering from malignant melanoma on left shoulder. He and his wife require a an urgent home visit for asess[ spell check] their needs and arrangement of appropriate further assistance and management from your service.

  • Write latest information in introduction

  • Here surgery is important


On 14 March,2008, Mr O'Keefe underwent removal of the large lesion from Mater Public Hospital. He was discharged after three days. His suture removal will be is scheduled on 24 March,2008.He requires assistance to do activities of daily living.Therefore, he took care from our facility following his discharge.


During the home visit, Mr O'Keefe's wound healing process is adequate. Although, he has arthritic pain in hands and legs,his balance is shaky. Hence, he is on medication.Importantly,he is confused regarding the reason for the operation .He has little memory problems.

  • Total paragraph has gone wrong

  • Sentence construction is wrong

  • Serious grammatical errors

  • Do not use connectors unnecessary

  • Find out the correct usage of although


Ms Dorothy,the wife of Mr O'Keefe is aged and she is concerned regarding the future life. She is not able to manage the house and garden. She often requires help from neighbours to do shopping and cooking. Their kitchen and bathroom are not clean and disordered.


  • Wrong construction 

  • Wrong data interpretation

  • Grammatical problems

  • Find out difference between active and passive voice


Mr O'Keefe lives with his wife. Both are aged pensioners and has no children.


In this regard, Mr O'Keefe and his wife need continued assistance and management to perform activities of daily living, house hold [one word]works, gardening, shopping. Their address is Donaldson Street,Greenslopes 4121


Please do[space]not hesitate to contact me if you have any queries.


Yours faithfully,

space

Registered Nurse

Blue Sky Home Nursing


  • Organisation is important 

  • Grammar is important

  • Planning is important

  • Proper sentence construction is important

  • Needs improvement

  • Best of luck!!!

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