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LETTER 40

 Letter 40


17 March, 2008

19 March, 2008


The Director 

Aged Care Assessment Team 

Brisbane South Region 

78 Masterson St Acacia Ridge

Brisbane 4110


Dear Sir/Madam 


Re:Mr Henry O'Keefe,DOB:02 February,1925


I am writing to refer Mr O'Keefe, who has been 1 diagnosed with left shoulder malignant melanoma. He seeks urgent home visits from your facility for further assessment and needs following 2 his discharge today.


  • 1 Writing latest developments would be fine(here it's surgery)

  • Both husband and wife need their visit

  • Needs or requires would be better than seeks

  • 2 he is already discharged on 17/03/2008

  • Today's date is 19/03/2008



On 14 March 2008,Mr O O'Keefe was admitted to hospital and successfully removed his large lesion. He was assisted for daily dressings and showering.


On first home visit,his wound was healed;however,he is little shaky while walking. He was made complaints about arthritic pains in hands and legs; for[space]which, he takes two panadol three times for pain relief.In[space]addition, 3 he is commenced on glucosamine and chondroitin supplements as  3 advised by general practitioner.


  • Glucosamine and chondroitin supplements were commenced 

  • 3 Medicine has been commenced by gp then u do not need to write that it is his advice



On the second visit, O'Keefe was assisted for dressing and showering. He is still unbalanced and confused.


O'Keefe lives with his wife Ms Dorothy and both are aged pensioners. Ms Dorothy is concerned about his future as he keeps forgetting things. On both home visits, she verbalized that she finds it difficult to manage both the house and garden as there their house is still disorganised.


Kindly provide assistance for managing household works, gardening and shopping. It is important to note that sutures were removed would remove on 24 March 2008 untill[spell check] then please monitor wound for complications and to meet activities of daily living.

  • Home address should write.


If you have any queries, please contact me. 


Yours faithfully,


Registered Nurse


  • Try to avoid minor mistakes 

  • You have deviated from the purpose at the end of the letter.

  • Your letter has a lot of irrelevant data

  • The Beginning of your letter has gone wrong as you have made a mistake with the date which will put your score down.

  • Concentrate more on planning section

  • Best of Luck!!!

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