LETTER 34

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Letter 34

15 September, 2012


The dDirector

Community Child Health Service 

77 Vulture Street 

West End

Brisbane 4101


Dear Sir/Madam,


Re: Ms Nicola Boyle, aged 20 (both mother and child should be referred)


 I am writing to request a home visit for Ms Boyle, who has difficulty in caring for her baby, requires further advice and assistance from your service.


  • Intro is good.


Ms Boyle 1was presented on 16th January with contraction followed by fetal distress and failure to progress. Therefore, the emergency caesarian section was performed and on the next day at 11:20 a.m and she had delivered a 4.3 kg male baby2with a good apgar score .

  • 1.Passive voice misuse.

  • 2. Apgar score was abnormal


Post operatively,( one word) Ms Boyle had lost 800 ml of blood owing to post portum[one word] hemorrhage[spell check] which was managed well. 1]and noted a hemoglobin of 90 g/l.2] Additionally 3]kfol vitamin c 4] there recommended for her.5] Even though the baby 6] feeding well, his mother is interested in bottle feeding and has a difficulty in caring  for the baby.

  1.   Subsequently, her haemoglobin was 90 g/L therefore fefol and vitamin C were recommended for her.

  2. & 5 Highly academic word and need a comma after that.

  3. Fefol   spell check

  4. Were

    6.that information is not in the case note.



     A single mother Ms Boyle, lives in a rented share flat, does not have contact with her partner and family members. 1.As s result insecurity and the isolated feelings are developed on her and prefers to give baby for adoption.

  • 1 sentence construction went wrong and mixed information.

  • Try to write a simple letter 




Given the above,  it would be worthy to provide a home visit for Ms Boyle for counseling her decision regarding giving adoption. Of note, please instruct her about caring  for her baby.

  • Deviated from the original purpose of the letter

  •  address is important.


 If you have any queries regarding Ms Boyle, please do not hesitate to contact me.


Yours sincerely,faithfully

Registered Nurse.



  • Try to write a simple letter 

  • Kindly avoid using highly academic words

  • Always keep in mind the purpose of the letter

  • Never write your own ideas.

  • Best of luck!!!

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